Q: What do owls say when they go trick or treating?
A: Happy Owl-ween!
Q: Why did the skeleton go to the prom alone?
A: Because he couldn’t find any “body” to go with.
Q: Which type of pants do ghosts wear?
A: Boo-Jeans.
Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling.
Q: Which musical instrument do skeletons play?
A: Trom-Bone
Q: Where do ghosts use their boats?
A: The Eerie Canal.
Q: What song do vampires hate?
A: “You Are My Sunshine”
Q: What type of monster loves dance music?
A: The boogieman
Q: What do skeletons order at restaurants?
A: Spare ribs
Q: What’s a ghosts favorite fruit?
A: Booberries.
Q: Who are cousins of the werewolf?
A: What-wolf and When-wolf
Q: What’s a ghosts favorite body of water?
A: Lake Eerie.
Q: What’s a ghosts favorite desert?
A: Boo-berry pie.
Q: What do you call a spirit who gets too close to a camp fire?
A: A toasty ghosty.
Q: Where do werewolves store their things?
A: In a were-house
Q: What kind of makeup do witches wear?
A: Mas-scare-a
Q: When does a ghost eat breakfast?
A: In the moaning.
Q: What do werewolves read to their children before bed?
A: Hairy tails
Q: What type of pants do ghosts wear?
A: Boo Jeans.
Q: What do Italian ghosts eat for dinner?
A: Spookgetti
Q: Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he was always goblin’.
Q: What tops off a monster’s ice cream sundae?
A: Whipped scream.
Q: What do spirits send their friends while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards
Q: What do they grow in the Halloweenland garden?
A: Zombeets.
Q: Which of the witch’s friends was good at baseball?
A: The bat.
Q: Which ghost lives in Town Hall?
A: The night-mayor.
Q: What do they use to clean the ice during the Halloweenland hockey game?
A: A Zombieoni
Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
A: An itchy witchy.
Q: What was the mummy musician’s favorite note?
A: The dead sea
Q: Where do ghosts buy their milk and eggs?
A: At the ghost-ery store
Q: What do you call a cold, evil candle ?
A: The wicked wick of the north.
Q: Why did the traveling witch throw up?
A: She was broom sick .
Q: How do you fix a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch
Q: When do skeletons laugh?
A: When something tickles their funny bones.
Q: Why did the police officer arrest the ghost?
A: Because he didn’t have a haunting license.
Q: Why do witches ride on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too expensive.
Q: Where do ghosts like to water ski?
A: Lake Erie
Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo.
Q: Why did the vampire like baseball?
A: Every night he got to turn into a bat.
Q: What do ghosts eat for lunch?
A: Boo-logna sandwiches
Q: What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day?
A: A lazy bone.
Q: What do witches put in their hair?
A: Scare spray
Q: What kind of mistakes do spirits make?
A: Boo-boos
Q: Why was the vampire artist so famous?
A: Because he was great at drawing blood.
Q: What city do most werewolves live?
A: Howllywood, California
Q: Why do witches ride brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaner’s have short cords.
Q: Which type of tree do ghost like most?
A: Ceme-trees.
Q: Which room do ghost houses never have?
A: The living room.
Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and says quack-quack?
A: Count Duckula
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite candy?
A: Suckers
Q: What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?
A: Twick or Tweet
Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coffin.
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
A: Frostbite.
Q: How do monsters tell their future?
A: They read their horror-scope.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the prom?
A: He had no body to dance with.
Q: What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A: A boo-tie.
Q: Which building did the vampire visit in New York?
A: The Vampire State Building.
Q: Which amusement park ride do ghosts like the most?
A: Roller ghosters.
Q: How do ghosts like their coffee?
A: Dark with extra scream.
Q: What do you call a witch in the desert?
A: The Sandwich.
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
A: Ice-Scream.
Q: What’s the problem with twin witches?
A: You never know which witch is which!
Q: Where do ghosts like to swim?
A: The Dead sea.
Q: Why can’t you see a ghost’s mom and dad?
A: Because they’re transparents.
Q: Why don’t people like vampires?
A: He have bat tempers.
Q: Why did Ichabod Crane go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.
Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.
Q: What kind of music do ghosts listen to?
A: Spiritual music.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He has no guts.
Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend
Q: What was the ghosts favorite book?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton like to fly?
A: He had no guts
Q: What do you call witches that live together?
A: Broom mates.
Q: What happened to the witch with the upside-down nose?
A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.
Q: What’s the first thing witches do in the morning?
A: They wake up.
Q: What do monkey ghosts like to eat?
A: Boonanas
Q. How does a witch tell the time?
A. With her witch-watch.
Q: What do goblins drink when they’re hot and thirsty?
A: Ghoul-aid
Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body.
Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit.
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A: A blood hound.
Q: Where position did the goblin play in soccer?
A: Ghoul-ie
Q: What was the ghost’s favorite party game?
A: Hide-and-go-shriek
Q: What type of dogs do zombies like the most?
A: Bloodhounds.
Q: When do you see the most zombies?
A: Halloween.
Q: What does it take to become a zombie?
A: Deadication.
Q: Why did the zombie quit his teaching job?
A: He only had one pupil left.
Q: What do you call zombie twins?
A: DEAD ringers.
Q: What do zombies read every morning?
A: Their HORRORscope.
Q: Who did the zombie take out on a date?
A: His Ghoul-friend.
Q: What time do zombies wake up in the morning?
A: Ate o’clock.
Q: Who do Cowboy zombies fight?
A: The DEADskins.
Q: What is the safest place to be during a zombie attack?
A: A living room.
Q: Do zombies eat french fries with their fingers?
A: Nope, they eat the fingers separately.
Q: How can you tell if a zombie is tired?
A: He’s just dead on his feet.
Q: What has 1854 bones and catches flies?
A: A skeleton baseball team.
Q: Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
A: Sherlock Bones.
Q: Why did the skeleton run up the tree?
A: A dog wanted to eat it’s bones.
Q: What was the skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A: The trom-bone.
Q: What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?
A: Lazy bones.
Q: What did the French skeleton call his friend?
A: Bone ami.
Q: What song do skeleton bikers ride to?
A: Bone to be wild.
Q: Which baseball team do skeletons like most?
A: Pittsburgh Pirates
Q: Who was the skeleton’s favorite Star Trek character?
A: Bones McCoy
Q: How did skeletons send mail in the old days?
A: The bony express
Q: Why can’t skeletons be the church musician?
A: They don’t have any organs.
Q: Who is the most famous French skeleton?
A: Napoleon bone-apart..
Q: What do you call a skeleton who stays out in the snow too long?
A: A numbskull.
Q: What song do skeleton crooks listen to after a heist?
A: Bad to the Bone.
Q: Why do skeletons hate winter?
A: The cold goes right through them.
Q: What do skeletons use to clean the sink?
A: Bone-ami.
Q: Why did the skeleton go to the mechanic?
A: For body work.
Q: How did the tiny Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
A: Terrier-fied.
Q: What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A: A hot dog.
Q: What do you call a werewolf that uses bad language?
A: A swearwolf
Q: Why don’t werewolves make good dancers?
A: They have two left feet.
Q: What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A: A bud hound
Q: How do you make a werewolf laugh?
A: Give it a funny bone.
Q: What happens when you cross a werewolf with a cat?
A: You have to get a new cat.
Q: What did the wolfman say when he met his new neighbor?
A: Hey, howl are you?
Q: Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A: A re-tail store.
Q: What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A: A dingo-ling
Q: What time is it when a werewolf sees your dinner?
A: Time to get a new dinner.
Q: What is a werewolf’s favorite band?
A: Meatloaf.
Q: What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
A: Ruff.
Q: What do you call a lycanthrope who gets lost?
A: A where-wolf.
Q: What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A: A pupsicle.
Q: Why did the poor dog chase his tail?
A: He was trying to make ends meet.
Q: Why did the monster name his werewolf “Frost”?
A: Because Frost-bites.
Q: What did the cowboy say when the werewolf ate his dog?
A: Doggone.
Q: What runs around a haunted house and never stops?
A: A fence.
Q: What happened to the wolf who fell into the dishwasher?
A: He became a wash and werewolf.
Q: How do you prevent a werewolf from attacking you?
A: Throw a stick and yell fetch.
Q: What do mothers dress up as for Halloween?
A: Mummies.
Q: How do you know that a werewolf has been in your fridge?
A: There are paw prints in the butter.
Q: What happened when the werewolf went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show.
Q: How do you make a werewolf stew?
A: Keep him waiting.
Q: How does a werewolf eat ice cream?
A: With it’s mouth like everyone else.
Q: Which type of fruit do vampire’s like most?
A: NECKtarines.
Q: What did the werewolf say to his friend who missed school?
A: Howl are you?
Q: What was the werewolf in the butcher’s shop arrested for?
A: Chop-lifting.
Q: What do you call a dentist who cleans a werewolf’s teeth?
A: Dinner.
Short Scary Stories….do not read these alone.
Husband kills his wife while their 5 yr old son was still sleeping. The weird thing was that kid didn’t ask 4 his mom even 3 days after she went missing. Father:” Is there something that you want to ask me ? “Kid : “I just wonder, why mom is always standing BEHIND YOU.
I woke up to hear knocking on glass. At first, I thought it was the window until I heard it come from the mirror again.
The last thing I saw was my alarm clock flashing 12:07 before she pushed her long rotting nails through my chest, her other hand muffling my screams. I sat bolt upright, relieved it was only a dream, but as I saw my alarm clock read 12:06, I heard my closet door creak open
In all of the time that I’ve lived alone in this house, I swear to God I’ve closed more doors than I’ve opened.
A girl heard her mom yell her name from downstairs, so she got up & started to head down. As she got to the stairs, her mom pulled her into her room & said “I heard that, too.”
My wife woke me up last night to tell me there was an intruder in our house. She was murdered by an intruder two years ago.
I always thought my cat had a staring problem. she always seemed fixated on my face. Until one day, when I realized that she was always looking just behind me.
There’s nothing like the laughter of a baby. Unless it’s 1 a.m. & you’re home alone.
I begin tucking him into bed & he tells me, “Daddy, check for monsters under my bed.”I look underneath for his amusement & see him.. another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy, there’s somebody on my bed.”
You get home, tired after a long day’s work & ready for a relaxing night alone. You reach for the light switch, but another hand is already there.
There was a picture in my phone of me sleeping. I live alone.
Comic by Scott Nickel